If you've ever thought "Why doesn't my dog listen?!", or desperately screamed it into a pillow, you wouldn't be the first!

It's one of the most common complaints dog professionals hear, and even though there's no one simple answer, there are a bunch of common themes.

And what if... your dog isn't ignoring you at all?

Before we point fingers at the pooch, let's look at what we're bringing to the table.

If we want our dogs to listen to us, we really need to be someone worth listening to. And that starts with some work on our part: taking the time to understand who our dog is, and giving them daily outlets to be a dog.

Do that, and we're already stacking the deck in favor of the hearing kicking in.

🙌🏼

Here are my TOP 5 Reasons Dogs 'Don't Listen' - with a PIVOT for each, to get you back on track:

1. PAIN

A dog who refuses to do something that hurts can look like they didn't hear you or they're intentionally blowing you off.

When in reality, it might just be too painful for the dog to sit if they have arthritis.

Stubborn and sore can look very similar across the room.

How to tell?

If your dog suddenly stops doing something that they've always done, or you notice subtle signs creep in: slower on the stairs or refusing to jump into the car, it's worth taking a look to see if something's changed medically.

↪️ THE PIVOT: 

Book an appointment with your vet, to rule out medical issues.

2. GENETICS

Over the years, dogs have been bred to do very specific (and amazing!) jobs for us: from hunting to herding, protecting to policing, and retrieving to ratting. These skills can be so automatic that sometimes they seem to skip the 'thinking' part entirely.

When their hard-wiring kicks in, their listening skills go out to lunch. 

Watching a hound go ‘nose-down’ and ‘ears-off’ for an entire walk should literally be the opposite of shocking - they’re part of a long line of master-scenters!

So yelling "COME!" fifty times will literally land on closed ears.

And that wiring runs DEEP.

It's really hard to win a fight with genetics.

↪️ THE PIVOT: 

Take the time to learn what your dog was bred to do, then figure out a way that they can let off that steam, in an environment that is safe and constructive for everyone. Whether you have a super sniffer, a rockstar retriever or a champion chaser, how can you give your dog an outlet for what they're naturally driven to do?

Because meeting their biological needs first goes a long way in daily life AND stacks the odds in favor of our dogs listening when it matters most.

**While we're talking Biology, let's not forget - adolescence. Dogs hit their 'teens' between 6 months - 2 years, and their hormones can wreak havoc.

The pivot for this?

The same as #3. Stay the course, and this too shall pass.

3. CONFUSION

While this one is a biggie - it's also relatively easy to fix, because it's in our control.

Most dogs try their hardest to fit in with what we want, but sometimes those wants aren't crystal clear. 

Either we just assume dogs get what we want (but they don’t), we think they’ve learned a skill (but they haven’t), or we do this…

"Don't jump on the couch" (when you're wet), but "Come snuggle with me" when I'm watching a movie.

"Stop begging!" at the table, but "Hey Sparky, want my pizza crust?" (also at the table!).

We humans accidentally change the rules with the wind, depending on the day, our mood, who's around, or how muddy our dog's paws are. And our poor pups are supposed to make sense of it all.

But dogs read patterns, not intentions.

↪️ THE PIVOT: 

Get really clear on what you would like your dog to do, then deliver that plan to them, clearly too.(E.g. We put ALL food for the dog into their bowl - and never feed from the table).

Once you have the clarity - next you need consistency.

Do the same thing over and over, and ensure that all family members are following suit.

If you want “no begging” to mean something, everyone in the household has to stop feeding the dog from the table. Because no dog is going to forget that random slice of gravy-covered turkey that was slipped to them under the Thanksgiving table.

4. OVERWHELM

It's really hard to jump to attention when you're fighting for your life.

Ok, that's a bit dramatic.

But when dogs find themselves in situations where they feel cornered, or out of their depth, all of their energy is poured into figuring out how to get out the other side.

Asking a dog to "Be nice!" is a line that lots of dogs seem to 'not hear'.

It would be a real challenge for a shy or anxious dog to morph into a social butterfly with strangers, children, or other dogs. If they're struggling, and their boundaries are being pushed, their focus will solely be figuring out how to cope.

Or, the dog who's dragging you down the street - ignoring your pleas to 'heel!'?

That hard pulling on leash, may be far from them trying to embarrass you - it could be panic about loud traffic noises, and them desperately trying to escape an overwhelming environment.

↪️ THE PIVOT: 

The key is to build safety and trust, which starts with learning to read your dog's body language signals - because they're talking to you all the time. So when you see the early signs of anxiety or overwhelm, you'll know you need to step in to support them - and avoid putting them in positions they can't handle.

Dogs are relying on us to have the situation in hand, to protect them, and to 'get them outta Dodge' when they can't cope. When we deliver on that commitment, we're sending a clear signal that we have their back when they need us.

The more our dogs build trust in us, the calmer they will feel (and act) in the world.

5. COMPETITION

Like it or not, the environment is constantly competing with our requests.

Dogs are thinking, feeling beings, and they’re very capable of running the numbers on everything we ask them to do.

You shout “LEAVE IT!!” as they’re running toward that open packet of ham you just dropped on the floor, but they’ve already done the math:

a) I get to eat 6 slices of juicy meat, or…

b) I get told I’m a very good dog.

Um. No brainer. <Snarfs the ham>.

Dogs live in the moment, so when something more interesting is happening right in front of them, it’s likely going to win the competition for their attention.

If we want to be heard, we need to up our game, not just ask louder.

↪️ THE PIVOT: 

Dogs, like people, want to know what's in it for them.

This isn't about turning yourself into a vending machine. It's about building a relationship where listening is a win-win for both of you. So, get curious about what really floats your dog's boat: for some it's food, for others it's a game of tug, or your undivided attention. Once you know what matters most to them - use it.

Not as a bribe. But as your half of the agreement.

At the end of the day, we're not asking for them to obey like a machine. We're asking for a deal we both actually want to keep.

Realistically, we’re not asking for them to obey like a machine. We’re asking for a deal we both actually want to keep.

(One last note on ‘The Deal’: this is also why a dog who listens beautifully at home might have suspiciously selective hearing at the park. The paycheck that works in your kitchen, doesn’t stand a chance against squirrels, other dogs, and all the hundreds of other fascinating smells.

The park just made a much better offer.

So…

Q: What is the best way to get our dogs to listen?

A: Start listening to them first.

- Who they are.

- What they need.

- When they ask US to step up.

It's incredible how much we can impact our dogs' behavior by starting with our own behavior first.

That's exactly what The Dial Method® walks you through.

It's step ONE.